Well, swab my poop-deck, tie me to the mainmast and lash me wit’ a cat o’ nine tails! If it ain’t the annual “Talk Like A Pirate Day” on Saturday the 19th. I am usually hung-over, drunk and totally forget. But, not this year, matey! I think I’ll head down to the river, in my van, which I will decorate with pirate regalia. I’ll find some seamen, eat some Arrrrrby’s and drink me some rum. Then, I’ll scare some little children and pass out on a park bench. (But, then again, that’s what I do every Saturday!)

You’ve got two weeks to get yer act together!