Does Enterprise Have SciFi’s Gayest Theme Song?

OK. It’s Sunday morning, and I just finished preaching for quarters down by the riverboat casino. My sermon today covered some of my favorite topics: “Fear The Wrath of God, Or He’ll Smite Thee,” “Building The Case for More Torture,” “Americans are Too Mushy, Stiffen That Upper Lip” and “Gays Should Just Go Back In The Closet… Just As Long As It Isn’t mine!” That all went well, and I raised enough to cover my “Moons Over My Hammy” at Denny’s. Too bad for the waitress, I didn’t have quite enough to leave her a tip.

I’m back in the park in my van, across from the elementary school. (This is where the police ran me off on Halloween. Damn those sex offender laws!) Anyhow, I’m watching TV and a rerun of Star Trek: Enterprise comes on. I thought it was an episode of Quantum Leap at first, but the gay theme song gave it away. This is why “Enterprise” was cancelled, not poor writing or a lack of slutty green alien wenches. It is the kind of theme song you’d expect in a 1970s “family drama” starring Wilfred Brimley. I guess even gay folk-rock guitar players love the Star Trek franchise.

So, while I have the music muted on the TV, I happen to type ‘Star Trek’ into the Amazon.com search engine and come across this. If some rich Trekkie buys this set, will they have to keep the episodes of Enterprise and all the even numbered movies in the closet?

Is this what they transported to the planet Omega III in Futurama Season 4 Episode 12?

Oh well, there’s a hot blue Andorian chick kicking ass in a skimpy space suit, so let me finish and free up my typing hand. And, look what else I found on the Internet. I guess Enterprise isn’t all that gay, just the theme song.