What a Bunch of Lazy Monkeys!

OK. How many of you have ever been in an airport and seen someone with a rolling suitcase? Within reason, I have no problem with this. But, lately this has gotten out of hand!!

I recently took a sojourn through some major US airports. In order to qualify for my super-saver rate, I had to fly through Atlanta, Chicago and Minneapolis, as well as Phoenix, on my way to Detroit last week. I therefore had an opportunity to watch other travellers scuttle back and forth from one gate to the next. Across the board, I have discovered that everyone has wheels on their bags and they just “drag” their luggage around the airports! What a bunch of lazy monkeys!!

Here are some examples of the kind of carts you see people “rolling” around the airport with. They aren’t just the heavy bags, but bookbags, laptop bags, and tiny suitcases. Why walk through the terminal, looking all gay and stuff with a womanly little pettite bag at the end of a stick, when you could JUST CARY THE FUCKING THING!! It weighs how much? Five or Ten pounds? You are THE BIGGEST WUSS ON THE PLANET!!! The whole fucking point of a laptop, is that it is light enough to cary around conveniently. I even accept the hippies who carry their bags like a big purse with a shoulder strap, but come on…. ROLLING IT??? What is up with that?

Rolling carts were designed for HEAVY LOADS, like multiple suitcases, or even a really heavy suitcase. Does Dr. Grouchy ever use a rolling suitcase? Yes… But, I have never used the wheels to roll it. I refuse to. I even tore the wheels off my bag so the lazy baggage handlers couldn’t roll it. Let’s face it, Dr. Grouchy is no pussy. He hefts his luggage, and struts proudly across the terminal with it. Last week, I had two large bags to carry and a hanging bag. I CARRIED them all, and refused any assistance. After all, I was only going from the Bus Stop about a quarter of a mile. And… each of my bags weighed between 60 and 80 pounds, mind you. Here are some examples of suitcases I have packed in the past. You see that sometimes I have quite heavy loads to carry.

So, I plead with the American Public NOT to use the rolling carts in town, or at work to carry light loads. If you are not some kind of a cripple, pick the damn thing up and carry it the proper way. PUH-LEESE!