I Served With George Bush

I am flabbergasted that an ex-antiestablishmentarianist like John Kerry would call into question President Bush’s military record. What are these campaigns coming to? Must the mud slinging begin so far from the true election? Have we already finished with all the mud slinging amongst the Democrats themselves and now have to turn to lambaste our Commander-in-Chief?

President “W” is a man of simple character and wisdom and has proven himself in the many times he faced death by flying to Iraq in the middle of the night on Air Force One. There’s not a lot of proof, because he did all this at night and kept it hush hush, but it happened. I know that he personally led troops against some of the most fierce combatants in the region. In Afghanistan alone, he searched many caves and turned over many rocks looking for Osama bin Laden. [As you can see by the image, he was only successful in finding his cousin, Kenny.] He’s gone up to Capitol Hill a number of times, unsupervised and unchaparoned, and been ambushed by any number of Liberals, and come away unscathed. And, that’s nothing compared to the time that Laura caught George and their neighbor Larry installing free cable in the Whitehouse. [more]

So, “dub”, who is an old buddy of mine from when I was workin’ the mess hall down for the National Guard in Alabama. “Dub” always cleaned his plate. Never got to know him socially, but then again, Dr. Grouchy was only there for a few weeks before the CIA some agency recruited him to fly missions in Southeast Asia. So, while “Dub” and yours truly were serving our country as patriots, most of those Democrats were spouting off about how bad the war was and how people should desert and run away to Canada! [Don’t get me started on the Canadians!] Plus, there was that time that John Kerry went AWOL that no one knows about! He got a weekend pass and became a roadie for Jane Fonda. [Although he eventually went back and finished the war, which was probably a good thing. But the point is, he didn’t kill Hanoi Jane Fonda when he had a chance. Just like Bush Sr. didn’t kill ol’ Saddam when he could have back in the Gulf War!]

Dr. Grouchy is putting his foot down! Enough is enough. If you want to call out Dr. Grouchy, Ph.D., he’ll break out a can of 30-year-old millitary-issue Whoop-Ass, and start some hardcore research on the Internet and set the record straight! Blah, Blah, and moreover Blah…

Visit the Snopes urban legends website to see the proof that John Kerry was stalking Jane Fonda back in ‘Nam. I don’t make this stuff up, boys and girls [*Note: We used to have a funny little picture here, but now we are forced to link to the John Kerry urban legend page on Snopes.com, because some annoying photographer bitched and moaned until I got sick of him!]